Ask A Stoner: Used “Toothbrushes,” Black Jesus & Hiccup Cures

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Dylan Mallett is medicinal budtender and cannabis connoisseur living in LA. From California to Amsterdam to other parts of California, Dylan’s passion for pot has taken him all over the world and allowed him to smoke virtually every strain of sticky-icky on the planet.

My roommate bought an electric toothbrush at the Goodwill, saying he’ll just bleach it and get a new brush head. I am right in thinking this is totally disgusting, yes?

Your “roommate,” huh?  “He” got an “electric toothbrush” from Goodwill, you say?  You sure we’re not talking about another kind of electric appliance that’s manufactured for use on a human orifice? Hey, I’m not one to judge, honey.   There’s a lot of websites out there dedicated to second-hand stimulation videos. I once saw one where this chick had a vintage rotary phone earpiece, and that thing didn’t look bleached, so I think you’re fine.  Not that I look for that kind of stuff… my roommate sent it to me on accident. 

Why doesn’t Jesus look Jewish?

Because he was black. Come on, everyone knows that.Jesus was essentially the Tupac of his times.They were both born under usual circumstances, preached incredible messages during a short time, were murdered by haters, then briefly appeared to their followers in spiritual/holographic form after death, before living on forever in the hearts of millions.Oh, and a bunch of white people made fortunes off of their work/death.

What’s your hiccup cure?

An incredibly massive bong (like 6ft.) toke and/or salvia.  After coughing your lungs out for three-minutes straight, and/or entering another dimensional where you momentarily realize that space/time are an illusion only to immediately forget how/why after coming back down from your cosmic voyage, you usually tend to forget about the hiccups. 

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