Welcome to Netflix Psychologist, the game where we have our Comedy Central interns show us what their Netflix queue recommends, and we tell them just what the fuck is wrong with them.
This week, intern Andrew graciously gave us access to his Netflix queue. He seems… not high. Definitely not high at all.
BECAUSE YOU WATCHED “WORKAHOLICS”
We’re going to assume Andrew included this image in some kind of suck-up move, but here’s the main thing everyone should learn about being an intern for an entertainment company: that shit totally works. GREAT JOB ANDREW
What this says about Andrew: Willing to play the simplest mind games. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
BASED ON YOUR INTEREST IN TV DOCUMENTARIES
Honestly, does anyone actually watch these things? You’d have to be like, I don’t know, stoned out of your mind or something to watch enough of these that Netflix wants to recommend this as a genre to you. And does this look like the face of a man who’s stoned out of his mind?
Wait, don’t answer that.
What this says about Andrew: Who knows, definitely not that he’s fucking high as shit every single second of every day, even at work. Definitely not that.
BECAUSE YOU WATCHED “COSMOS”
Oh great, we get just one nanometer down on his page, and we see the suggestions of a dude in 2013 who watched a shitload of “Cosmos.”
What this says about Andrew: THIS ISN’T SUBTEXT ANYMORE PEOPLE
Conclusion: Not high. Definitely not high right this very second.