Welcome to Netflix Psychologist, the game where we have our Comedy Central interns show us what Netflix recommends for them, and we tell them just what the fuck is wrong with them.
In this latest installment, intern Carlo tried to preface his screen grabs by claiming that he shares his account with his girlfriend.
(Apologies in advance, Carlo sent us tiny-ass screenshots. You’ll have to trust us.)
BECAUSE YOU WATCHED “RINGER”
Here’s the thing about catching up on a quickly cancelled series involving Buffy the Vampire Slayer: you know what you’re going to get. You know it only lasted 22 episodes, you know you already hate vampires (or whatever the hell happened on this show), boom.
What this says about Carlo: What could speak more to a fear of commitment more than signing on to get involved with the TV equivalent of a dead puppy?
BECAUSE YOU WATCHED “SAY YES TO THE DRESS”
Uh oh. Without delving into gender stereotypes, we’re just going to take a wild stab in the dark and assume this falls on the girlfriend half of the queue. The kind of girlfriend looking to settle down.
Actually, if you think about it, putting “Say Yes to the Dress” is basically the internet age equivalent of asking someone to marry you.
What this says about Carlo: UH OHHHHH
BECAUSE OF YOUR INTEREST IN DRAMA
Because how much more of it do you need in your life?
What this says about Carlo: Honestly, what could cause more drama than a fear of commitment paired with a lady who’s READY TO SETTLE DOWN. Get ready folks, we’re talking fireworks!
Conclusion: Carlo is, needless to say, so screwed. That’s assuming, of course, that his so-called girlfriend actually exists. Actually, he’s kind of screwed either way.