Dylan Mallett is medicinal budtender and cannabis connoisseur living in LA. From California to Amsterdam to other parts of California, Dylan’s passion for pot has taken him all over the world and allowed him to smoke virtually every strain of sticky-icky on the planet.
What’s the difference between smoking with a white guy and smoking with a black guy?
If the weed you’re smoking is any good, black and white are indistinguishable.There are no colors.Just vibrations, you know what I’m saying? This is why the best weed dealers never get busted. Their customers can never give accurate descriptions to authorities.
Cop: “So the guy who sold you this weed, what’d he look like?”
Stoner: “He looked… chill.”
Cop: “About what age was he?”
Stoner: “An awesome age.”
Sometimes when I’m walking my dog and I don’t have a bag, I don’t pick up his shit. I make sure to kind of kick it off to the side, though. Is this really so bad?
Nah, man. I don’t care if it’s against the law. How many equestrian cops have you seen let their police horses drop a sandbag-sized load in the middle of the sidewalk without looking twice at it? When I see a cop scraping six handfuls of horse manure off the pavement, I’ll worry about dog shit.
Also, if everyone picked up their dog’s shit, we’d never have moments like this:
Which came first: the chicken or the egg?
Neither, chickens evolved from dinosaurs. It’s dinosaurs, dude.